Why small daily frustrations build into bigger emotional outbursts,

Have you ever had a moment where you felt very angry over a small issue such as something was misplaced, you didn’t receive a message in time or someone forgot to complete a small task. You may have even found yourself getting quite angry over it when you didn’t really expect to.

Most of the time we don’t get angry over small issues. We often have a build up of frustration, stress, disappointment and emotional exhaustion over a period of days or weeks.

When small issues aren’t resolved they can create a build up of emotions. Knowing why can help you gain more control over your emotions.

1. Build up of small frustrations

Throughout the day most of us will experience some small frustrations. Whether it’s a difficult conversation, long queue, domestic tasks, pressure at work or unexpected costs.

On their own they shouldn’t cause any issues but when they happen regularly and you haven’t had time to recover from them you can start to feel the effects.

Throughout your day you may have had a busy and stressful time at work. When you get home you realise you haven’t finished your tasks and someone has forgotten an important task. Whilst you may think you’re angry over this task it could actually be due to the events leading up to it.

2. Emotional exhaustion can make it harder to stay calm

When you’re emotionally exhausted it can become harder to stay calm.

Throughout the day you’ve been making decisions, problem solving, juggling tasks and trying to meet peoples expectations. This can leave you with less patience.

When you’re tired everything can start to get on your nerves.

Whilst you may usually stay calm when someone interrupts you. After a busy day you may begin to feel very frustrated.

This doesn’t mean you have a bad personality or can’t control your emotions. It could just mean you need to take a break, recover and find healthier ways to deal with pressure.

3. Holding back emotions can cause anger

Sometimes we hold back our emotions to avoid arguments.

We may ignore the fact we’re disappointed multiple times, pretend we don’t mind certain comments or agree to tasks we don’t really want to do.

Whilst this may help us avoid any arguments it won’t necessarily help with our emotions.

Over time we can feel sad, disappointed, resentful and unappreciated which can cause us to feel angry.

If we constantly feel like we’re being ignored by our partner we may feel upset over a small argument about the house. Whilst it may seem like we’re angry over the dishes it could actually be because we don’t feel supported.

Knowing that the anger is due to our emotions can help us address the actual issue.

4. Not getting enough sleep can cause irritability

Getting enough sleep can help us control our emotions. If we’re regularly not getting enough sleep it can become harder to control our frustration and think clearly during stressful situations.

You may find that you become more impatient, struggle to concentrate and get irritable easily.

Getting enough sleep can help you with daily tasks.

Try to create a bedtime routine, minimise any distractions and give yourself enough time to relax. This can help improve your emotional wellbeing.

If you’re still having issues with your sleep it can be worth talking to a healthcare professional.

5. Unrealistic expectations can cause constant disappointment

Another reason we can get angry over small issues is due to unrealistic expectations.

Some people expect themselves to be perfect at managing everything. They want to be productive, supportive, successful, organised and always available.

This can cause frustration when things don’t go as planned.

This can happen within relationships too. If we expect others to know how we’re feeling without telling them we can become disappointed regularly.

Try to set realistic expectations for yourself and others. Don’t expect perfection.

Accept that some days will be tough.

6. Constant small issues can cause resentment

If you’re disappointed about something it can be easy to let it go but if it keeps happening and there isn’t any real change you may begin to feel resentful.

If one person always takes on most of the domestic tasks whilst the other rarely helps you may begin to feel increasingly frustrated.

Eventually you may get very angry over a small argument about something unrelated.

This is because the issue is linked to the pattern.

Try to calmly talk through the issue. Let them know what’s going on, how it’s affecting you and what you’d like to see change.

How to stop small issues causing you to get angry

Whilst you can’t avoid difficult situations you can create habits to help you manage your emotions.

Notice your signs – Are you getting irritable, tense muscles, impatient and feeling overwhelmed?

Take a break – When you feel your anger rising take a break before replying.

What’s the real issue? – Are you angry about the current situation or something else?

Communicate your needs – Try to express how disappointed and frustrated you are. Be clear and respectful.

Take breaks – Taking regular breaks, getting enough sleep, doing things you enjoy and moving your body can help with your emotions.

Set boundaries – You don’t have to do everything. Learning to say no politely can help reduce pressure.

Talk to someone – If you’re regularly getting angry, it’s affecting your relationships or you’re struggling to control your emotions a qualified mental health professional can help you understand why and create effective coping strategies.

Final thoughts

Whilst small daily frustrations may seem insignificant if you constantly ignore them they can cause pressure in your emotions.

Sometimes a sudden emotional outburst can be due to lots of unresolved emotions.

Learning to recognise your triggers, communicate honestly, set boundaries and take a break can make a real difference.

You don’t need to wait until you reach breaking point to take your feelings seriously. Sometimes recognising the small frustrations can help to prevent a larger emotional reaction.