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Relationships are beautiful, meaningful, Happily Ever After (With Earplugs)

Relationships are beautiful, meaningful, and completely absurd when you look at them closely. Here is a breakdown of the funny, unspoken rules and facts about...

aribahamza 2 min read · 3 weeks ago

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Relationships are beautiful, meaningful, and completely absurd when you look at them closely. Here is a breakdown of the funny, unspoken rules and facts about sharing your life with another human being:

The "Pre-Sleep" Negotiation

The Blanket Monopoly: No matter how large the bed or the blanket is, one partner will always end up sleeping under a piece of fabric the size of a handkerchief, while the other is wrapped like a high-end burrito. It is an unwritten law of physics.
The Thermostat Cold War: Every couple consists of one person who is perpetually a human furnace and another who is essentially a frozen white walker from Game of Thrones. The thermostat is the ultimate battleground.

Communication & Logic

The "What do you want to eat?" Paradox: This is the most complex mathematical problem of the modern era. It involves two people rejecting every single restaurant suggestion until one person finally gives up out of pure starvation.
The "I'm Fine" Translation:"I'm fine" rarely means everything is fine. It usually means: "I am currently calculating exactly how many times you forgot to put your shoes away this week, and I will present my findings shortly."

"I'm fine" rarely means everything is fine. It usually means: "I am currently calculating exactly how many times you forgot to put your shoes away this week, and I will present my findings shortly."