When my visa for Europe came, I went to Europe a few days later. After that, talking to her from Europe was sometimes difficult and sometimes easy. It was difficult because, at that time, she did not have a phone that she could use freely to call me whenever she wanted.
Still, sometimes we would talk, and then we would make plans because of our situation. She was also quite hopeful. Maybe she thought that now her family would accept our relationship because I had gone abroad, I would start earning, and our future would become better.
But that did not happen.
As soon as I left, a few months later, the person who had promised us that he would think about it and give us an answer made a decision without telling us anything. Her family arranged her relationship with someone else.
Her mother pressured her a lot. She would tell her, "Agree with this. Do not trouble your father. Do what he says." But she was very stubborn. She said, "I will not do this. I want to marry him. I want to be with him, but my family does not agree."
Her family pressured her again. They beat her and forced her to accept the decision. Eventually, they arranged her marriage with someone else.
When she got married, I found out that she was no longer mine. For many months, I kept calling her name throughout the night. I would talk to myself, wake up suddenly, sit down, and call her name again.
I had reached a condition like a sick person. I felt like I was losing my mind. I loved her so much.
She also loved me deeply. When she came to meet me, she had written a diary. In that diary, she had written everything about our relationship, one thing after another, and how our life had passed together.
She wrote about me. She wrote what food I liked, what clothes I liked, what things I loved, and many other small details about me. Finally, she gave that diary to me.
I still have that diary today. Almost 20 years have passed, and it is still with me.
I miss those memories a lot. After loving someone so deeply, it was painful to accept that we could not be together.
I have written all these things for you in the form of a book, but you cannot truly understand what happened to me and what I went through.